Dear all,

This has been a horrific week after a extremely difficult year. Here's what I recently offered as a summary quote about the times:

“The hate rhetoric from political leaders, the 4,000 verbal and physical assaults over the last year, and the recent homicides and mass murder at the Georgia spa’s have made it clear that Asian Americans, particularly women and elders, are not safe in the current climate. Asian American history over the last 200 years makes it clear that we were never intended to be full citizens. Asian Americans have worked hard to contribute to this country and participate in democracy. When we are targeted physically, emotionally and psychologically, it reminds us our sense of belonging is precarious and conditional. Belonging, safety and understanding are critical for well-being. The current traumas trigger memories of historical trauma, particularly the subordination of and violence done to women, and floods us with the sense of not being understood or cared about. That our pain and suffering is invisible and marginalized. 

This is a moment of potential awakening and awareness in the broader culture for the histories and identities of Asian Americans, and our still frustrated quest for belonging, equity and justice for our entire community.

Asians are easily identifiable, and thus easily othered. For the last year, political leaders persisted in calling COVID the "China virus.” Many people’s distress about the pandemic was thrust onto Asians, as if they were the cause. Most recently, the spa shooter seems to have blamed massage parlor workers for his sexual desire, desire which his Church taught him was evil. Mainstream White American culture needs help with distress tolerance and managing emotions like shame and vulnerability with compassion. America also needs responsible gun regulation. Asian Americans are low utilizers of mental health resources as well, and there needs to be more cultural competence and compassionate understanding of their needs.”

I hope you are finding ways to care and nurture yourself as only you know how. The central question in MSC was "what do I need, in this moment?" For me, while I am so proud of the knowledge and wisdom in our community, in academia and in the media, the social media "hamster wheel" can be churning instead of soothing. I'm taking a break from being online for a while, and returning to practices like tonglen and self-compassion, finding time to be with friends, and cultivating the spirit for what we'll need for the long haul to overcome these issues: mindfulness, compassion, relationship, creativity and insight.

At some point, it would be good to do a session with any who wish. In the meantime, here's this from my FB author page: 

For the Asian American community, the Atlanta Spa mass murder and a year of accelerated, visible anti-Asian hate and homicides have pushed our survival brains into fight, flight and freeze. We're all at different places and capacities. When you've been overwhelmed, it's best to restore your own sense of comfort and safety, before pushing out into "growth and challenge" again. Reconnect with loved ones, with nature, with your own body. Restore your equilibrium. Reiterate your awareness of history, and rest assured that we can change the trajectory of these incidents just by being here for each other. In all the ways that family, community, friends and allies are here for each other. If this is the time to reach out for mental health care, do that. Don't be isolated in your suffering. Personally, my 'love language' is caring for others - and times like this remind me that caring for others is an ongoing and necessary journey, as is caring for oneself in the midst of distress. We also need to find ways to care and ask for care across gender lines. Check out the mindful self compassion resources at my website www.sflovedojo.org and remember: our journeys of identity, belonging and wellness are connected. 

Warmly, 
Ravi