In this newsletter: Breaking news and samples of previous work for all my new subscribers!

Happy November!

As we all prepare for our holiday seasons, anticipating perhaps either joyous times with family and friends, or the stresses associated with relationship, perhaps this 2017 blog post on Navigating Difficult People and Opinions During the Holidays will be helpful.

And perhaps you'll have time to binge-watch  some or all of my recent lecture series. I spoke about self-compassion, compassion in difficult times, Asian American psychology, narcissism and relatedness in the American psyche, cyberbullying and internet addiction.

SF Love Dojo 2019 lecture series - on YouTube as video, and also available as podcast audio (The Pacific Heart podcast episodes 17-24 on SoundCloud, iTunes and Stitcher)

Our conditioned existence provides both the root of relatedness and interdependence (in the nurturing we have received and given), and the seeds of our dissatisfaction, suffering and disconnection. Life is about cultivating our sense of identity, and also our relatedness. Of course, as I wrote in Facebuddha, "we are who happens to us and what we make of the happening." American individualism and narcissism, particularly prominent over the last 5 decades per research by Twenge and Campbell, downplays relatedness and interdependence. We're at peak narcissism now in what I call our "global teach-in" on narcissism. But I think and hope that the fundamental unworkability of narcissism and extreme individualism and tribalism, which fuel antagonism, jealousy, and the power complex which sees all relationship as utilitarian and as win-lose dualities, will become even clearer. But we all have choices.

I'm doubling down on relatedness and compassion - because I know that's what works, in therapy and life.

Compassion Cultivation Training 8 week workshop series starts in January. Pioneered at Stanford's CCARE (Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education), this course was transformative for me when I took it in 2017. The more we can deepen our experience and understanding of compassion, the stronger we'll be in relationship and the more we will grow as human beings. Sliding scale available.

Compassion is how we do human!

Even if you can't make it to a compassion class, you can support the cause by purchasing an umami t-shirt! Just like Umami is the fifth flavor that makes food tasty and delicious, friendliness and compassion are the extra flavor that makes our inner lives and relatedness more tasty and delicious! Remind yourself and everyone to add some umami to whatever we are experiencing, and provide support for my sliding scale and free classes for the community.

POETRY

For my new subscribers, in addition to my lecture series and podcasts, you might enjoy last year's outburst of poetry, 36 Views of San Francisco, which included the poem RED THREAD, about our psychological and spiritual connections, which I recently read at the South Asian Literary and Arts Festival (video in link).

My other recent public poem was CHRISTINA: SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND DATE, UNION ON HOLIER GROUNDS.

Thanks for staying tuned, and an early Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

Warmly,

Ravi