Dear all,

I'm not the first person to be flamed for their writing - but wow did I get a big dose a couple of weeks ago! I was working with the recent Hollywood Asian American romcoms, and that got me thinking about gender relations in the Asian American community. I linked the two topics. I didn't really realize quite how hot this topic was in our community. My bad. I posted my initial blogpost to an Asian American media activist group, and the blog was instantly misread, and someone who I thought was a friendly acquaintance really flamed and bullied me in a way I have never experienced before online. While about 50 people viewed my post, only a couple of people "liked" her comments, and only one other person chimed in. Still, it was painful in that no one else said anything, and they were silently complicit in the attack. I didn't realize for quite some time that the misreading was the original problem. But the tendency to misread is "a symptom of the wound," as I later wrote. And the wound is very deep. I don't think I will ever feel safe posting to that group again. As much as I wish for repair, I know that is unlikely.

In any event, I think I learned a lot from the episode, and ended up writing a (hopefully) even more compassionate and careful piece. It's a long-ish read (about 20 minutes) but covers a lot of ground. It would mean a lot to me if you'd take a look. Please "clap" and share if you find this a thoughtful piece of writing. Thank you for staying with me on this journey.

The Three Body Problem in Asian American Romance

An Exploration of Dating and Gender Relations in the Asian American Community

At the heart of our problems, I believe, is our difficulty dealing with vulnerability, uncertainty and insecurity. We are too often prone to trading love for power as a result.

MEMOIRS OF A SUPERFAN
CAAMFest37 Roundup

MEMOIRS OF A SUPERFAN VOLUME 14.9: FAMILY AS METAPHOR, FAMILY AS REALITY

“Family conflict seasons our reality, but it is also perhaps a hopeful metaphor for nations and indeed our whole Earth.”

MEMOIRS OF A SUPERFAN VOLUME 14.8: DIRECTOR HAO WU ON “ALL IN MY FAMILY” AND GAY RIGHTS IN CHINA

ALL IN MY FAMILY, now streaming on Netflix, is a deep look at Hao Wu’s family accepting his gay identity.

MEMOIRS OF A SUPERFAN VOLUME 14.7: CAAMFEST – A POLICY-MAKER’S PACKAGE OF FILMS FOR EMPATHY

“CAAMFest is anchor, lifeboat, society, medicine. Food for thought, and food for heart.” – Ravi Chandra

MEMOIRS OF A SUPERFAN, VOLUME 14.6: “CHINATOWN RISING”

This film gives us an “institutional memory,” if you will, of our city’s life, struggles and aspirations.

MEMOIRS OF A SUPERFAN 14.5: EVERY HEART IS A RESCUE BOAT

"This is the Asian American Renaissance. This is our Enlightenment."

MEMOIRS OF A SUPERFAN VOLUME 14.4: Q&A WITH “LAST SUNRISE” DIRECTOR WEN REN ON CHINESE SCI-FI

Chinese cinema has heretofore largely steered clear of science fiction. Wen Ren’s narrative feature, LAST SUNRISE, offers a strong entry in the genre

THE PACIFIC HEART
on Psychology Today

Steph Curry and the Warriors Show Humanity and Leadership

Kevin Durant went down, but the Dubs won. What Steph Curry said can set the tone for leadership in sports and in the world.